Does Time Heal?

I’ve heard it said all my life that time heals all wounds, but I beg to differ. Time does nothing for some wounds.  As polite as the saying is, it just isn’t true. It has been six years this year since my mom has been gone, and time has done nothing for my wounds.  Did I not say the proper goodbye? Did I not get to spend long enough with her? What is it about certain relationships that time doesn’t heal that wound?

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4. There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven: a time to give birth, and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance;

The Bible says it perfectly when it says, “a time to mourn”.  It does not specify how long that time is or if that time may come and go.  Grief is different for every person.  When we think about it, is grief in the heart or in the mind?  There is probably much discussion and disagreement about this.  It has been proven that grief can alter the heart muscle so much that it causes a form of heart disease called “broken heart syndrome”, and in rare cases it has been known to be fatal.  Grief can affect the mind and body causing changes in memory, behavior, sleep, and body function.  The Bible says in Psalm 147:3  He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.    If you read this verse, it does not give a time frame of when the healing happens, it just says that it will happen for the Christian.  As I am writing this, my mother would have just celebrated her 80th birthday, if she were still alive.  I took a week to celebrate and mourn her life this year.  Next year I am not sure how long it will take.  My daughter and I took a beautiful bouquet of flowers to the cemetery, and we sang “Happy Birthday” to her.   My mind knows that she is not there, but my heart has to go to the last place that I placed her.

Mourning is not a daily occurrence for me now.  It is true that God bandages our wounds like it says in Psalm 147:3.  These days I can reminisce about things that my Mom and I did together and look at old pictures of her.  The grieving process takes you through many steps, and sometimes we even end up stepping backward before we can go forward again.  I love those people who can look at death and just say, “well, they have moved on to Heaven, and I will see them again soon”.  At one time I thought I was that person, but I have long since realized that I am too soft for that.  Every individual grieves in a different way and for a different amount of time.  Grief can even come in many forms of self destruction, such as drinking, drugs, gambling, self harm, and much more.  Most people understand that grieving takes time, but what they don’t understand is that sometimes days, weeks, or months doesn’t even begin to touch it. Sometimes that time frame can take years, and for some the process is never complete. Love the ones that you care about. Tell them that you love them because part of grieving is often feeling like you never said, “I love you” enough.  

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.

Revelation 21: 4. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crime, will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.

Dedicated to my mom:  The best Mother and Meme. We love and miss you.

04/10/45 to 12/25/19