It was Saturday evening and Monday was coming fast. I still hadn’t felt like I had heard from the Lord about what I was doing here now. I got my Bible and tucked into the bed with me. You know sometimes if you just hold your Bible close to you, you can feel closer to God. God is always close to us but sometimes we may not feel as close to Him. I went to sleep like this on Saturday night. When I woke up I felt slightly better but I didn’t get out of bed. My daughter came over while my best friend went to church and took care of things and she didn’t say anything about Monday so I thought she had forgotten. Just as my daughter left out my bedroom door, she said tomorrow we get to teach you, even though I know you already know how to do all of this. Sunday evening I asked the Lord to show me please, if He still had a use for me and in my sleep this verse came to me:
Isaiah. 43:1b-2. Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name; you are mine.
I will be with you
when you pass through the waters,
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not overwhelm you.
You will not be scorched
when you walk through the fire,
and the flame will not burn you.
When I woke up Monday, I somehow felt rested for the first time in weeks. When my daughter got to the house around 7:45 I was ready to get up and sit in my recliner for a while. My pain had decreased immensely. The abdominal pain that was causing me such problems before my surgery was gone. I was still very sick at my stomach and having to take Zofran for that and vent my g-tube fairly frequently. I had an upcoming appointment with my GI Specialist to see how I was healing and now Chamber’s was only coming once a week. My GI appointment was on Wednesday, July 3, so Chamber’s came by on the 2nd to see how I was doing. The nurse from Chamber’s said everything looked very good and I was healing nicely. She was excited to see me out of bed. I did demonstrate to my daughter that day that I was somewhat able to care for myself, but she agreed that she would come by in the daytime for a few more days. When I went to the GI Specialist on the 3rd, he told me that I was healing great and it looked like I could try to go back to work. He gave me the return to work for 2 weeks which would be the 16th day of July; the day after my 48th birthday. I have worked in the medical field in some capacity since I was 15 years old. A large amount of my life I worked 2 jobs because as I said before I was a single mom a large part of my daughter’s life. It didn’t hurt me to work; I found work very satisfying. That and motherhood gave me my sense of purpose. I was always giving back to someone. Unfortunately, that was about to come to an abrupt end. Chambers came by on the 11th of July and dismissed me from their care since I had been released to go back to work, but did explain that if I had any issues just to give them a call; they have been true to their word on that part. The time was coming to go back to work and I was basically caring for myself, with the help of my best friend in the evenings.
July 16, 2024 was here and I was ready in my mind to go back to work. My feedings are run very slowly and are set to run 24 hours a day 7 days a week. When I am out in public, I carry a backpack that weighs about 12-15 pounds. When I am at home all of this is on an IV pole that I roll around with me. When I got ready for work on the 16th I packed my backpack and was in good spirits. I arrived at work about 7:45 am and by 9am I was smooth wore out. On the outside looking in, it probably looks like I have a fairly simple job and honestly it is one of the less complicated jobs that I have worked, but carrying an extra 12-15 pounds of weight around on you that your not used to carrying is a difficult task. I also found that the more I moved around the more my g-tube needing venting, so I was constantly in the bathroom. I was working as an Ophthalmic technician, so I had to keep up with patients, my doctor, answering my desk phone, returning calls, and answering questions that the front desk asked. This was more that what it had ever been before. There are other things that come up too, but I just wasn’t paying any attention to them, they had to wait. I was shocked at how slow I was moving. I was worse than an turtle you could imagine; or at least that’s how I felt. At noon, the doctor I worked with and I decided I had enough for the day and one of the other Tech’s covered my afternoon. I was only working part time because of other health issues so I would be back to work on Thursday. When I looked at my feeding tube that night I saw a bit of redness around it that had not been there earlier, but I just figured I has stressed the area and a bit of rest would help. When I got up Thursday morning I was not quite as exited to go in to work because I was still feeling a little bit of pain around my tube site, but decided I was going to make the best of it. After about 2 1/2 hours my tube site was hurting so bad all I could do was go sit at my desk, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. I called my Primary Care to see if he could take a look at it. He said yes and I was to be at his office at 1pm that day. I stayed at work until noon and helped as much as I could and then left for my appointment. By the time I made it to my Primary Care there was a purulent drainage coming from around my j-tube. Justin, my Primary Care, explained to me that I had an early infection surrounding my j-tube and that it looked liked I had put too much stress on the area. He prescribed an antibiotic ointment to use twice daily until I returned to his office in 2 weeks. That was not all. Justin explained that I needed to explain to my supervisor that the job position I was currently working was now too much on my body and I needed to slow down to a desk job or retire permanently. He asked if I understood and I nodded yes, but I didn’t want to understand. I have never had a total desk job and I was not prepared for that and I wasn’t sure how the doctors would respond to this. It wasn’t long until I found out. I had been with this practice for 11 years. The doctor I worked with has been there 12 years. God places you places for reasons, seasons, and lifetimes. That is with everything in life; with all relationships you have. Some of these people were like family now. I went in on Friday, July 19 to talk with the doctor that I worked with directly and the office manager. This was very difficult for me, not only did I consider this man my supervisor, but I considered him my friend. I explained the situation to him and explained what I had worked out in my brain as things that I could do to help out the clinic as I was on desk duty. Explained to me that this would never be enough to help the clinic and that it was time for me to retire due to my health. I cried and said that I understood. I typed my resignation and went to talk to the office manager. I explained to him what the doctor and I spoke about and he agreed with the doctor and I turned in my resignation. I was basically driving a company vehicle so I asked if I could keep it through the weekend to tie up some loose ends and he said yes. I went home and cried.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you”-
this is the Lords declaration- “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
